SCRAPBOOK
AUSTIN, TX 2/28/2004 - UH-OH…CONTROVERSY AT MATCHDAY 5 OF THE TEXAS ROLLERGIRLS By Robert Malina

Texas Rollergirls Public Bout
June 27, 2004 Bout @ Playland
Broken Teeth, featuring Jason McMasters of Dangerous Toys!
and our favorite local, all-girl punk rockers, The Winks

AUSTIN, TX-JUNE 27, 2004 -The Texas Rollergirls approached match day five with only two remaining bouts before the August break and into the playoffs. The storylines were pretty much set as the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers were undefeated going into this match, leaving the Hell Marys and the Hotrod Honeys jockeying for the third spot, both sitting at 1-3. What type of scenarios would unfold on this final Sunday in June???

1ST BOUT-HUSTLERS (2-2) V. HELL MARYS (1-3)
Dinah Mite in true form as usual gets the scoring started for the Hustlers. Electra Blu did some scoring of her own and 8-Track helped make that happen by putting Misty Meaner in the crowd. Speaking of Misty, make sure you vote for her and her award-winning ass on the Yahoo site for a commercial spot…check the website txrollergirls.com for more information. Barbarella was doing some damage to start the next jam but Bloody Mary wasn’t going to let her score easily as the two were neck and neck coming fast around the curves. But putting the Hell Mary’s into the crowd seemed to be the modus operandi for the Hustlers, as Dinah Mite sent Bloody flying. Bunny Rabid seemed to have the upper hand on Lady Stardust but a whip from 8-Track sent Lady around the corner and into the lead. Strawberry came out firing in the next jam, which was filled with brutal shots. Misty Meaner came out for some redemption in the next jam and was getting it done until; yep you guessed it, 8-Track put her in the crowd to stop the jam.

I’m not exaggerating about this going into the crowd shit either, on the next jam Dinah Mite put Strawberry into the crowd and beer went everywhere. What’s wrong with this is that Strawberry had to call off the jam because she couldn’t get going again. This incident was a direct result of spectators sitting in the front row, knowing full well that the girls may come flying into them. That being said, when they DO come flying into the stands, spectators need to pick up their beers…the logical thing to do, not leave them on the ground and cower as the girl approaches. If that’s what you’re going to do, get out of the front row. But I digress. Bunny Rabid was out for some points after the stoppage of play for beer spillage and gaining some momentum when Pussy Velour cut her down. The Hell Marys were tired of being put down and into the crowd so when 8-Track went for Bloody Mary again, a fight broke out, a good one too! On the next jam, Tinkerhell flattened Electra Blu, allowing Misty Meaner to get out in front and finish the period with some points. END OF PERIOD HUSTLERS 24 – HELL MARYS 15

2ND HALF ACTION
Scarlot Harlot wanted to make sure and set the tone for the 2nd half and kept Lady Stardust from scoring. Strawberry scored some points and Mean Streak came flying right into my lap…and I spilled some beer. But it wasn’t anywhere near the track, my shit was underneath my chair and far enough back to where it didn’t effect anything. Tinkerhell got involved again with a huge hit on Reyna Terror. The Hell Marys were a little hot under the collar. Barbarella ran into a wall in Muffin Tumble, as the diminutive Mary didn’t allow her to pass. Bunny Rabid was doing some nice work and got taken down by Lady Stardust…fight!! This period was close and tempers were getting very hot. When would we reach the boiling point? Strawberry out in front on the next jam and had one girl to beat and did she ever. With a sick move, she was around Cheap Trixie, who was left searching the track for her panties…after she pulled herself out of the crowd. Mean Streak lost a skate and was forced to use a back up. After pushing Misty Meaner down with a rather rough push, Dinah Mite scored as much as she could then hastily called off the jam rather than face the wrath of the Crusher who was bearing down on her to measure a little revenge. Equipment problems came in pairs as Nasty Habit lost a stopper and was forced to skate without it. Bloody Mary refocused herself and coolly collected a nice chunk of points to make this one even closer. This is where the controversy begins and I’m still not sure what the outcome or reasoning for this outcome was. I’ll try and explain it. With little to no time to go, the Hell Marys possessed a one-point lead. Approximately :08 seconds remained I believe. This left the Hustlers with no chance of a comeback. There was a ton of jawing, arguing and discussing among the team captains and the refs. Then all of a sudden, there was a 1:08 left on the clock and time enough for the Hustlers to get points and all of a sudden win. How the refs decided that they would arbitrarily put an extra minute up there I have no idea. But later in the night it was announced that this would be a draw…whack. So, I guess now there's a third column in the records-wins, losses and draws. FINAL SCORE HUSTLERS 41 – HELL MARYS 41

2ND BOUT - HOTROD HONEYS (1-3) V. HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS (4-0) As if the Hotrods needed any more problems coming into the bout against the undefeated Honky Tonks, Tomcat dislocated her elbow right before their bout. This was a crushing blow to an already struggling squad riddled by injuries. Loose Tooth Lulu got the action started putting points on the board for the Heartbreakers. Trouble opened up a decent lead but Voodoo Doll got in front of her and took her down. After throwing herself in front of Sparkle, Pixie is sent to the penalty box and the Heartbreakers open up a lead. At this point, the Honeys have yet to score. Buckshot Betsy got through a decent block from Cat in the pivot but survived to score and these two were getting after it, but what’s new, they both kick a lot of ass. The depth or lack thereof in the Honeys was really starting to show through, as Loose Tooth Lulu has no problem getting through the Honeys. Dottie Karate decided to stop the bleeding by causing some bleeding on Crazy Duke with a fight! Melicious got into it with Slim Kickins too.

Cat had a tough bout this time around, but then again, so did her entire team. The Honeys were struggling to get anything done against the powerful Heartbreakers. Perfect example, the ref blew the whistle for a penalty and due to their fatigue, the Honeys stopped thinking the jam was called off, but it was only a whistle for a penalty. Slim Kickins went on to score more points and put the Heartbreakers further ahead. A heated exchange took place between Pixie and Bettie Rage; meanwhile Cat took out Buckshot forcing a 1-lap duel. Sparkle Plenty faced off against Dottie Karate in a mismatch of speed and easily got the points…this one was going to be ugly. END OF 1ST PERIOD HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS 38 – HOTROD HONEYS 9

2ND HALF ACTION
Desperate for a spark, the Honeys got the 2nd period started with a gang fight; each girl had been assigned to take another out. Cat started the period out on a mission to bring her team back, but it would be from a long way back. A nice whip by Melicious sent Cat through. Although not skating, Vendetta von Dutch made her presence felt, rather heard, with a megaphone in hand. Honestly, I think the scoring was a bit fucked up because what looked like a successful jam by the Honeys resulted in 1-point. Melicious took out Loose Tooth Lulu who was already racking up the points. The action became a lot more wide open due to the thin roster of the Honeys; it was simply easy to get by them this evening. Trouble, using her speed and awesome body control, sliced right through the pack to open up the wound that was the lopsided score. Cat made a great effort to score max points but it was really an exercise in futility at this point.

What began to happen next was the nail in the coffin if you will on this bout…for the first time in all the bouts I’ve attended (and I’ve attended almost all of them) people started leaving. There was a visible exodus of fans that did not want to stick around for the shellacking. The Honeys did not quit and everyone applauded them for their effort but there was simply nothing that could be done to stop the bleeding so to speak. Bettie Rage and Voodoo Doll got into a scrap, which is always nice to watch and Pixie got into it with Slim Kickins. Another great whip by Melicious put Cat through but this one was over and done. Until next time. FINAL SCORE HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS 62 – HOTROD HONEYS 24