SCRAPBOOK
One Hundred Ten Percent Effort! It's Match Day 4 of the Texas Rollergirls by Robert Malina

Texas Rollergirls Public Bout
Sunday, May 23, 2004 @ Playland
with live music from Grupo Fantasma

AUSTIN, TX 5/23/2004 - With the Memorial Day holiday approaching the next weekend, the Texas Rollergirls prepared for Match Day 4 in their 2004 roller derby season. As usual, there was a lot at stake: the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers were looking to stay undefeated against the sinister Hustlers, while the Hell Marys wanted their first win in their campaign against the Hotrod Honeys.

1ST PERIOD: HELL MARYS V. HOTROD HONEYS
Cat Tastrophe got the scoring started in this one after two big whips from Pixie. But then Strawberry answered right back with some hot skating to earn the Hell Mary some points. The Hotrod Honeys started this bout off with a bit more energy than the red plaid, but you could tell the Hell Marys were not going to just roll over. Mean Streak and White Lightnin' were jostling for position, and someone in the crowd got smacked. Wham!

Not to be overly critical, but the referees in this bout as well as the next were a little, shall we say, "overactive." After all, nobody comes to see the refs monitor a game, they come to see the players play. Melicious was back in action after a 2-month hiatus, but was sent immediately to the penalty box for a push that goes on in just about every jam, leaving the Hotrod Honeys without a jammer for almost an entire jam period. That was the break that the Hell Marys needed! As the spectators cracked open cold Lone Star beers, the Hell Marys cracked open a lead. And as if that wasn't a tough blow for the Hotrod Honeys, in the very next jam, Cat Tastrophe got called for the exact same thing and sent to the penalty box. More free scoring ensued for the Hell Marys. Bloody Mary, a bit fatigued from her long, time-killing jam, made a swipe at Lucille Brawl to prevent the Hotrod Honey from scoring, but Lucille Brawl got the best of her and laid Bloody Mary out.

Misty Meaner got a lot of help from her cohort Mean Streak and did some much-needed scoring as the period was winding down. Scarlot Harlot and Tomcat got mixed up in a little scuffle -- as did Lucille Brawl and Strawberry -- it was the battle of the redheads. After some really nice work by Devil Grrl, Strawberry floated through the pack to run out the clock, and the Hell Marys took a five-point lead into the break.
END OF 1ST PERIOD: HELL MARYS 19 - HOTROD HONEYS 24

2ND PERIOD: HELL MARYS V. HOTROD HONEYS
Lucille Brawl and Mean Streak kicked off the second period with flare. Mean Streak showed some nifty movement in getting past Hydra to take the lead jammer spot; she then proceeded to skate some precious minutes off the clock. Strawberry was looking as hot as ever -- and was skating really well, too -- as she slinked through the pack, leaving the dominant Cat Tastrophe behind. It's rare this season that Cat Tastrophe doesn't win her jam, so the Hell Marys were doing well. They were also keenly aware of the clock and did a great job of utilizing every second they could in each jam.

Devil Grrl was getting physical with Cat Tastrophe, rying to keep her from scoring. Again, the refs were really overactive as a routine elbow from The Wrench got her a minute in the penalty box. Speedy Marie lined up to try and get some points for the Hotrod Honeys, but Mean Streak did a number on her and held her back the whole time. Bunny Rabid got plowed by Hydra and went flying. These ladies were giving 110% out there, and the crowd loved it. Devil Grrl, doing her best to hold the Hotrod Honeys, went down and got rolled over by the pack... what a tough chick! But the Hell Marys were looking hard for that elusive first victory. As what looked to be the last jam got kicked off, Misty Meaner cut through the pack and scored the decisive points as time ran out. That wrapped it up; the Hell Marys enjoyed their first victory.
FINAL SCORE: HELL MARYS 41 - HOTROD HONEYS 39

* * * * * * *

1st PERIOD: HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS V. HUSTLERS
The surprise of the season thus far? The undefeated Honky Tonk Heartbreakers got off to a quick start -- again! -- against the holders of the Texas Rollergirls 2003 crown, the Hustlers. Crazy Duke provided a good block for Loose Tooth Lulu and breezed hrough. Then Dinah-Mite lined up against Trouble, another one of the fastest skaters out there. But the skating wouldn't last too long as Jen Entonic took Dinah-Mite down. Trouble would have earned more points, but she somehow got tape stuck to her skate and took a dive.

Lady Stardust and Slim Kickins had a tough little jam session together, but Slim Kickins got the points. And when Buckshot Betsy lined up against Electra Blu, this one was on! The action was hot, but after a great whip from Trouble, Buckshot Betsy was gone. And had it not been for a hard shot from Sedonya Face, Buckshot Betsy would have scored even more. In another case of the refs getting overly active, they called Dinah-Mite on a small push, but then didn't do anything when Electra Blu got pounded in the chest with a stray elbow. This was kind of a weird night for the refs!

Barbarella and Trouble got after it in another speedy jam, and Barbarella took it after Lady Stardust laid Trouble out on a curve. Meanwhile, 8-Track took Buckshot Betsy over her hip and slammed her to the ground... FIGHT! The swat team got put to use on that one! The pushing and shoving began to pick up and Loose Tooth Lulu seemed to be taking a lot of punishment. But to her credit, she didn't seem phased by it and kept plugging away. Buckshot Betsy squared up with Barracuda in a very close jam that saw Ms. Buckshot take the cake. Dinah-Mite and Sparkle Plenty lined up for the final jam of the period, which was very fast paced. As time ran out, the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers had the Hustlers where they wanted them.
END OF 1ST PERIOD: HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS 23 - HUSTLERS 20

2ND PERIOD: HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS V. HUSTLERS
Sparkle Plenty and Dinah-Mite got into it at the start of the period -- and they weren't even jamming! But Loose Tooth Lulu was jamming, and she scored a pile o' points. As the second period began to heat up, Buckshot Betsy got sent into the crowd, and a massive amount of beer got spilled, forcing a stoppage of the clockage. I think the track was still wet in that section after the action resumed because several girls went down right in that spot.

Barbarella did a nice job of catching up with Slim Kickins and eventually took the lead. But she took a hard fall, and called off the jam. With Dinah-Mite in the pivot, it can be very difficult for skaters to get by her, but Trouble is fast, and she pushed by Dinah-Mite. The lead was short-lived as Dirty Deeds thrashed Trouble.

As Barracuda and Sparkle Plenty lined up for the jam, one of the craziest moments of the bout was about to take place. The jam began and the actions sped up as usual. Then, as Sparkle Plenty was rounding the second curve, Pussy Velour came through with a hard shot to send Sparkle Plenty into the crowd. This is normally not a big deal, but there was this kid, maybe 8 years old, I don't know, walking along the edge of the track. Sparkle Plenty went flying right into him, but she wrapped him up in her arms and spun around to take the brunt of the force. It was truly amazing! Awesome stuff.

Dinah-Mite was serious, as usual, and getting some points for her girls. Buckshot Betsy did some good work to sneak by Sedonya Face. but as she turned to talk a little shit, Rose Royce took her out. Electra Blu was getting beat down by Sparkle Plenty and Slim Kickins, but wound up getting through to earn some points, but then came Loose Tooth Lulu. She scored a bunch of points in a crucial time of the bout and gave her team the lead with only minutes to go. Dinah-Mite was doing double duty in the jammer role as she tried to bring her Hustlers back into the fold. The effort was admirable, but the points were not enough as the Honky Tonk Heartbreakers did it again, remaining undefeated and beating the Hustlers for the second time this season.

FINAL SCORE: HONKY TONK HEARTBREAKERS 48 - HUSTLERS 41

Check out photos from the game! And get your tickets for the June 27 bout... just $10 at Playland, Beerland, and Cheapo Discs.