 SEDONYA FACE #420 (retired) 
Sedonya Face was born on the Planet Lovetron in 2023 and raised by a band of disco chimps ... on roller skates, of course. These chimps have studied human existence since the beginning of time and have fixated themselves on the golden age of disco, with Xanadu and Mexican Wrestling laying the foundation for life and culture on the planet. Sedonya was the first genetically-altered child born on Lovetron through a method that would create human babies from two chimp parents. Sedonya's father, Punchonya Face, is the current Intergalactic Roller Wrestling Champ and her mother, Kissonya Face, is the Disco-lympics record holder for most elaborate dance routine on one skate. Since Sedonya is of human form, the citizens of Lovetron decided to send her to Earth to see how one of their own would survive in today's society. But since they could only send her to present-day earth, she was an angry disco diva in a bitter, post-disco America. This fact only made her stronger, and she vowed to destroy anyone who disgraced the beauty and grace of disco or did not follow the strict code of skating that she'd been taught since birth. Sedonya arrived in Austin, Texas, and discovered a society of women who embraced skating -- not only as an art form, but as a means of exerting aggression. The only problem? There were individual gangs within the society, many of which did not fit the image that Sedonya was brought up to respect. She did not understand why some greasy mechanic chicks, inbred hillbilly girls, and skanky little school girls were allowed to share the same company with such a beautiful, intelligent, athletic, sharp dressed unit like the HUSTLERS. (Who, by the way, are nothing short of amazing. Seriously an extreme joy to watch compete because they perform like a well-oiled machine. This author feels like he is truly in the presence of greatness each time he is in the wake of the mighty, mighty Hustlers.) So as I was saying, this confusion that Sedonya felt turned to anger and Sedonya began her mission to wipe out these inferior specimens that were polluting the diva-like purity of roller-skating. |